I Do Not Understand the Code ... Yet
- Anat Eshed
- Jun 4
- 3 min read
Thaipusam in Singapore and the discipline of cultural humility
I walked out of my hotel in Little India thinking I knew what the morning would be: spice-scented air, bright shopfronts, scooters threading through traffic, and my mind already sprinting toward the workday.
Instead, I stepped into something that stopped time.
A stream of barefoot devotees moved slowly and purposefully down the street. Some carried towering kavadis adorned with peacock feathers, flowers, and bells. Others carried brass pots of milk as offerings. Some acts of devotion involved body piercing; others involved pulling chariots forward inch by inch. The procession flowed from Sri Srinivasa Perumal Temple in wave after wave of devotion.
I froze. The world I thought I understood cracked open to make space for something I had never encountered—and did not yet have language for.
Then the drumming hit me: intense, rapid beats that did not merely accompany the procession. They propelled it. I could feel my own heartbeat trying to keep up, as if I had been pulled into the same current carrying the festival forward.
Curiosity tugged me closer. A few kind locals explained what I was witnessing. Thaipusam is a Hindu festival devoted to Lord Murugan and observed especially by Tamil Hindu communities in Singapore and beyond. Devotees may carry milk pots or kavadis as acts of devotion, thanksgiving, and vow-fulfillment.
And then came the sentence that rearranged the entire scene for me: What I was seeing was not explained to me primarily as suffering, but as devotion, vow, and faith.
That shifted the meaning of the moment.
What I had first read from the outside as burden began to look different when viewed from within the meaning system that gave it life.
That is part of what culture is.
Culture is not just food, dress, festivals, or visible customs. It is the shared system of meaning people live inside: the values, beliefs, practices, and ways of life that shape how people understand the world and what human actions mean. UNESCO defines culture broadly to include value systems, traditions, beliefs, and ways of living together; anthropological traditions similarly understand culture as more than behavior alone—as the larger framework that makes behavior intelligible from the inside.
Without that meaning, you may think you are seeing only pain, effort, or extremity. With more context, you may begin to see devotion, discipline, gratitude, belonging, and sacred commitment.
I did not go to work that day. I stood for hours watching the procession, feeling humbled and grateful.
Work could wait. This was not just a sight worth seeing. It was an invitation worth accepting.
Cultural humility is the discipline of recognizing that your first reaction may be shaped more by your own norms than by the reality in front of you—and choosing to learn before you judge.
It asks something difficult of us: not immediate agreement, not forced admiration, and not quick explanation.
It asks for restraint.
It asks us to admit when we do not yet understand the code.
What This Reveals
Your first reaction is often a culture-shaped reflex.
More often, it is a sign that you have reached the edge of your own assumptions.
Meaning changes what you think you are seeing.
Without context, an unfamiliar ritual can look confusing or extreme. With context, it may begin to make sense in terms of devotion, vow, identity, and community.
Strong emotion is data.
Awe, discomfort, fascination, or hesitation can all signal that there is a deeper story present—one worth approaching with care rather than instant judgment.
Questions to Carry
When you encounter something unfamiliar—at work, in travel, or in ordinary life—pause before labeling it “good,” “bad,” or “weird,” and ask:
What am I noticing, factually? What did I actually see or hear?
What story did I immediately tell myself about what it meant?
What might this mean to the people inside the context?
What am I missing that would make this make more sense?
Who can I ask, and how can I ask respectfully?
Closing takeaway
Some experiences do more than show you something new. They reveal the limits of the lens you brought with you.
That morning in Little India reminded me that understanding does not always arrive on first contact. Sometimes the wisest response is not to rush to explain what you are seeing, but to stand still long enough for meaning to come into view.
And sometimes growth begins with a simple and humble admission:
I do not understand the code… yet.
And perhaps that is reason enough to offer others the same curiosity I hope they will offer me.