What Might I Understand If I Stopped Making My Own Culture the Measure of Everything?
- Anat Eshed
- Apr 30
- 4 min read
How Japan Taught Me Cultural Humility: The Multiplier Skill We Can’t Afford to Ignore
Before traveling to Japan, I read a travel article written by a woman who had recently visited.
She complained about almost everything: the rules, the lack of trash cans, the food, the etiquette, the systems, and the social expectations. By the end, I had the strange feeling that she had traveled very far only to discover that Japan was not home.
And that, I think, is one of the great missed opportunities of travel.
Not because every traveler has to love every place. We do not. Some places stretch us, frustrate us, overwhelm us, and reveal the limits of our comfort very quickly.
But there is a difference between discomfort and dismissal.
There is a difference between saying: “This is not how we do it.”
And asking: “What might I need to understand before I decide what I think?”
I have seen the same pattern outside of travel. I have seen it in cross-functional teams when territorialism gets in the way of collaboration. I have seen good ideas dismissed because they did not fit the familiar way of working. I have seen people talk past one another because each assumed their own logic was the obvious one.
These moments make me increasingly convinced that cultural humility is one of the great multiplier skills of our time.
We live in a world increasingly organized around skills. Employers talk about durable skills. Universities talk about transferable skills. Workforce systems talk about future-ready skills. Leaders talk about adaptability, collaboration, communication, critical thinking, creativity, and empathy.
These skills matter. But by themselves, they are not yet cultural.
A person can be curious and still remain culturally narrow.
A person can communicate well and still misunderstand difference.
A person can adapt quickly and still treat their own assumptions as universal.
A person can show empathy in familiar settings and struggle when norms, values, or expectations feel foreign.
That is why cultural humility deserves more attention.
In a targeted scan of 16 reputable future-skills and career-readiness publications from the last three years, I found that many named skills related to cultural humility—intercultural competence, cultural awareness, diversity competence, empathy, active listening, curiosity, adaptability, inclusion, or global citizenship. But the broader skill was rarely named directly: cultural humility.
That matters.
Because cultural humility is not just one more skill to add to the list. It is the skill that helps many of the others work together when we encounter people, places, practices, and assumptions different from our own.
It strengthens and multiplies other skills.
And in a world where people increasingly live, work, study, lead, travel, and collaborate across cultures, it is becoming essential.
Japan stretched me, too.
It is one of the cultures I have visited that felt furthest from the one I grew up in and the one imprinted in me. Not better. Not worse. Just deeply different in its assumptions about order, time, space, beauty, responsibility, communication, etiquette, and shared life.
There were moments when I felt enchanted by the beauty, craftsmanship, and thousands of years of history and tradition.
There were moments when I felt clumsy—like a bull in a china shop, unsure of the invisible rules around me.
And there were moments when I felt like a child exploring with awe, curiosity, and no brakes.
That is why Japan became such a powerful place for me. It did not simply give me beautiful places to see. It gave me a chance to practice one of the most important skills we rarely name.
The Skill: Cultural Humility
Cultural humility begins when we recognize that our own way of living and doing is not the default setting of the world.
The way we do things may be familiar. It may work beautifully in our own context. It may reflect real values we want to keep. But it is not universal.
It feels “right” to us because we were shaped by particular cultural norms, expectations, and experiences. That does not make it the measure of everything.
Cultural humility requires the ability to say:
“This is unfamiliar to me, but unfamiliar is not the same as wrong.”
It also requires the ability to hold two truths at once:
I have my own values.
And I still have something to learn.
Framing Questions
When you encounter something unfamiliar in another culture, workplace, community, or relationship, try asking:
What assumption of mine is being challenged?
Am I reacting to harm, or am I reacting to unfamiliarity?
What might this practice protect, value, or make possible?
What am I interpreting through my own cultural frame?
And my favorite question:
What would I understand if I had grown up inside this norm?
These questions matter far beyond travel.
They matter when a new team is assembled and people bring different expectations about communication, trust, authority, and collaboration. They matter in classrooms where learners carry different assumptions about participation, silence, and success. They matter in families, especially across generations. They matter in communities where people are trying to live together despite different histories, beliefs, norms, and fears.
Because “this is not how we do it” does not only show up when we cross borders. It shows up whenever we encounter another person’s logic.
A colleague gives feedback differently than we expect.
A team avoids conflict when we want direct debate.
A client needs more relationship before making a decision.
A student does not participate in the way we define engagement.
A neighbor follows a custom we do not understand.
A family member sees respect differently than we do.
An innovator brings an idea that disrupts the familiar.
A Small Practice to Try
Notice one moment when you think:
“This is not how I would do it.”
“This makes no sense.”
“Why are they like this?”
“That seems inefficient.”
“That feels excessive.”
“This is threatening my territory.”
Then complete this sentence: “Another possible explanation is…"
For example:
“Another possible explanation is that this practice protects shared space.”
“Another possible explanation is that trust is built differently here.”
“Another possible explanation is that I am measuring this by the wrong standard.”
That is it.
Closing Takeaway
Cultural humility is not just a travel virtue. It is a skill we need to learn and practice. It helps us pause before we judge. It helps us hold onto our values without making our culture the measure of everything. Japan reminded me that the world is not obligated to feel familiar. That is the point of leaving home.  |
When you encounter something unfamiliar in another culture, workplace, or relationship, what is hardest to do?
Stay curious instead of judging quickly
Recognize your own assumptions
Ask questions without sounding critical
Accept discomfort without needing immediate clarity
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